i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize