I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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