4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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