I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
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oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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