soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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