And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize