i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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