The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize