it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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