sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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