are you still at the devil's house?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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