I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
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the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
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I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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