As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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