I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
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Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
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I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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