Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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