The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize