my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize