Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize