It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize