wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
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what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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