I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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