I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize