:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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