I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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