On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize