i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
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God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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