And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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