When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize