Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize