I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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