Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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