I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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