As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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