i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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