how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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