You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize