Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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