The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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