hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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