Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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