if you like me you must not know who I am
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize