she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize