Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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