Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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