It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's official drugs can't kill me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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