And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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