My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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