College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
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Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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