Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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