i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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